A Sassy Utterance: February 2012

A week and a half ago, my life changed. It's true... becoming a mom is unlike anything else. It's indescribable, overwhelming, humbling, and unbelievably heart-warming. It's unlike anything else in the world. It is, in fact, a miracle.

My Hudson was born on Friday, February 17th. It was a day that was like every other day. But, it was a day that ended unlike I could've ever imagined.

I went to work that morning with an odd feeling in my stomach. I never had a "busy body" living within me during pregnancy, but even my "lazy baby boy" wasn't moving enough for me to be settled. By lunchtime, the words of my doctor on my appointment that Tuesday ("make sure that baby's moving") were ringing so loudly in my head that I couldn't ignore it anymore. I called the office and told them that I wasn't real concerned, but not sure I was okay with the lack of movement I was feeling. Kyle was going to be going out of town for the weekend and I told the nurse that I'd really like to just get some peace of mind before my husband went camping. So, she set me up an appointment for 3 that afternoon to come in for an ultrasound. I called Kyle and he instantly was concerned. He came straight to the school and we had a good talk for a few minutes where I reassured him that I thought everything was okay, but that I just wanted to double check. It's an amazing thing about marriages - one can always calm the other when needed. At this point in the day, it was my job to do the calming.

Kyle came back to school and picked me up about 2:30 and we were so blessed to find out that the lady doing our ultrasound was a familiar face. She walked us through it and kept us upbeat: telling us how this BPP ultrasound worked (it was 30 minutes to check 4 different things), reassured us that fluid levels and heart rate were great, and told us the truth when he wasn't doing everything she needed him to do. When walking out of the u/s room, we were prepared to head to labor and delivery for some further observation. Well, when walking into the exam room to meet with the doctor (who was another one in the office - mine was out for the day), she had different plans. The words I'll never forget came out so loudly and clearly. "Hi, I'm Dr. Babin. I know we've never met before, but today, we're having ourselves a baby."

At this point, it was Kyle's job to do the calming.

She went on to tell us that my precious baby boy's chest didn't move like it needed to... ever. That there had to be a reason for no movement at all during the thirty minute u/s but she didn't know what that reason was other than he had to be in some kind of distress. She explained to us that he was 38 weeks, a good size (over 7 1/2 lbs), and there was no reason to sit around and wait. We asked if we could go home and get our stuff. No. We asked if we could wait about an hour and let my folks get here. Her answer? "They may just miss it." She went on to say how the NICU team would be in the C-section room waiting in case he wasn't breathing well. What?!

Again, at this point, Kyle had to do the calming.

I'm not a panicker. Or at least, I like to think that I'm not. But, I was walking in here just for "peace of mind" and here I was sitting in this room with a doctor I didn't know and she's telling me not only that I'm about to have an emergency C-section but that my baby boy may be in the NICU for a couple of days?! All I could think was that I didn't have my carseat! haha. (our fantastic friends, Hunter and Angie brought it that night!)

The next two hours were a blur. Kyle and I walked out like zombies, got on the elevator and headed down to the second floor, Labor and Delivery. We paused and had ourselves a good hug before walking through those doors, got in touch with our families, and hugged again.

I took a deep breath, stopped crying, and got ready to do this. The staff was waiting on us as soon as we walked through the door. Instantly, we were rushed to a room, I had to gown up, Kyle put on his pretty blue scrubs, and the paperwork began. While they were hooking me up to monitors, starting IV's, taking blood work, etc, here I am having to sign who knows how many pieces of paper. Before I knew it, I was getting an Epidural and being told all about the section process.

Sidenote - my nurse anesthetist, Jared, was amazing. A life saver. He became my best friend who walked me through every step. I made him laugh a lot. (I ask questions and I don't get fussy. Apparently, that's not normal)

5:30 I was rolling in to the operating room and lost sight of Kyle. Thankfully, Jared reassured me that he'd be right there and sure enough he was. Suited up in blue with a face mask and hair net - my husband was about to become a daddy. I never thought about me becoming a mommy in that moment, I just kept looking at him thinking, "this is the day my Kyle is going to become a dad." Maybe it's because I've felt this baby inside of me all along and I have already felt like his momma, but in that moment, Kyle's life was going to change.

Everything was fast, and honestly, not near as painful as I thought it'd be. When Jared said, "alright Kyle, you want to watch your son be born?" I cried. Tears of fear. Tears of excitement. And then, when I heard the most beautiful scream ever... Tears of relief. My baby was born. Our Hudson was born. We didn't need the NICU team. We didn't need any more worry. Hudson was here, screaming and peeing all over the place. 5:59pm was the minute that Kyle and I went from the married couple we've been for almost 3 years to the family of three we will be from here on.

The hospital stay was great. The staff was so nice and everything went so well. Everyone was able to make it "in time". I didn't see my parents before, but they beat me back to my room which was perfect. As I got wheeled in, they were the first people I saw, followed by Kyle's folks right behind them. We learned so much during those few days in the hospital and are still learning as we go along. Kyle and I enjoyed all of our guests while in the hospital (and the ones we've had since being home). Hudson eats, sleeps, poops, and pees just like he's supposed to. Nights go really well - some nights he'll sleep for five hours at a time! Days are even better - eats more often but has some hours of real alertness!

I've been asked a lot how I feel now that he's home or how is it to be a "mom". But I can't ever answer it. "It's great" is an understatement. All I know is that I stare at him all the time and smile. He's perfect.