and then it happened

Today I feel like was the first of many.

The first time I truly felt it.

The first time I wanted to protect in this way.

The first time I wanted to run away.

The first time I wanted to create a billboard and explain.

Sitting in a waiting room with both of my boys, the 3 year old being as crazy as ever and my Maddox being as laid back as always. An innocent woman kept looking at Maddox. Dead on. No hiding it. She was making faces at him, smiling, saying "Hi sweet boy", etc. I noticed all these things out of the corner of my eye but didn't pay much attention. I mean, good grief, he is the cutest thing in all the world so I'm used to people saying how beautiful he is (what momma doesn't think this?) But then, taking a break from Hudson's antics, our eyes met and she says, "He's so precious. How old is he?"

"Thank you. He's right over a year an a half. He's 20 months old"

And then it came.

Ready for the one word?

"Oh."

oh my soul.

It was more than the word. It was the raised eyebrows that were a cross between high school snob and sympathy. And then, it was the instantaneous turning away. Never again did she make a face at him. Never again did she try to interact. Not because she was being ugly in any way. I think she was shocked and didn't know what to say next.

What did I want? What response would have been correct? I DON'T KNOW. I read an article the other day about what happens when special needs kiddos "aren't cute anymore". When they grow up. What happens? What happens when I'm not there for when someone's response is more than just "Oh".

oh my soul.

I ache for my boy. I ache for anytime someone says the wrong thing. I ache for the millions of people who will potentially come in contact with him and won't feel comfortable to ask more. Don't settle with "Oh." This momma would rather talk about it. I'd rather tell you how far he's come not how far behind he is. That age means jack squat.

It's the beginning. 18 month olds walk, talk, and get in to everything. But not mine. My sits in his momma's lap and doesn't make eye contact. He doesn't laugh or grin at the little old ladies we come in contact with that think "he's just the cutest thing." This is when the life we know so well every day inside our little bubble becomes so clear to everyone who we'll come in contact with on the outside.

put your dukes up - bring it on

They are precious in His sight.