today

Today there's things I miss:
- quite times in Togo. The reading, self-reflection, and prayer time that came so easily while being in that cute house on a rainy afternoon.  The time to listen to the local sales-lady screaming about whatever she was selling and the kids laughing outside the gate. Take away the pure trash lying on the streets and the hot humidity - I miss the simplicity of it. I miss the opportunity to dive in to whatever God was trying to show me. 
- the ease of dating.  I have an amazing husband and marriage that I could never replace.  God has blessed us both beyond anything I've ever deserved, but today I find myself (while trying to clean out closets full of boxes) reminiscing about our dating life.  Kyle and I had so much fun in Ruston getting to know each other and "fall in love".  It's funny how at that point I thought I was falling so much in love with him but the longer I'm married, I realize truly what that means. We have faced some junk, that's for sure, and I'm grateful for it.  I'm grateful for the good and rough times that have shown me what marriage and love really are. But today, I miss the little things like the joy of just going to Sonic because one or both of us actually had the $10 that day to go get something that wasn't bought with our "Tech Express" card. 
- not being pregnant.  That's a rough thing to say, I know. But, hear me out. I love having a growing miracle inside of me and I'm SO ready to meet my lil' man. But, for goodness sake, all a girl wants to do is lay flat on her stomach! OR be able to lay on my stomach to get something from underneath the couch. So, I guess I don't miss not being pregnant. I miss not having a watermelon sticking off the front of me. 
- high school and college friendships. Hmmm... enough said. 


But, I can't just mope while trying to sort through the mess I've created by "cleaning out" things around the house. (see, the baby's room was pretty much storage when we moved in... there's boxes in there that haven't been touched since we moved in and now I'm finally trying to sort through it all) There are things that I'm grateful for and looking forward to. 


Today, I'm grateful for:
- my job and new life in Pineville. I never wanted to move here. (NEVER) but we did. It was a rough first year of adjusting for me. I didn't know anyone and I just wanted to find a niche. I'm grateful that I got the teaching position I did and have been able to make the friends I have. We also are loving our Life Group at church.  We're the youngest in the group but are loving the relationships we're making. 
- my dog. Yes, cheesy, but Mister is keeping me sane when I feel like junk. When pregnancy makes me want to be lazy, he doesn't try to coax me out of bed, he just snuggles right up and enjoys the nap, too. He's a bad dog and drives me nuts, but it's cool when dogs realize something's going on with your body. He's mine and Kyle's first thing we actually had "together" and he's pretty dern cool. 
- my house. It's cold, it's old, it creaks when you walk in certain spots. But, it's mine. The floors are (finally) getting insulated this week so maybe it'll warm up. I dig it. 
- the ability to think and do whatever I want in this "free" country. There's a video going around that I've got to post... stirs my thinking. What do I think about it all? Haven't decided... but if you're off today and want to stir your brain, here ya go.

BTW: it's getting real close to baby time. whew!