a story about our miracle

When I found out I was pregnant with Maddox, I knew I wanted to try and have a VBAC.  I wanted to experience labor. I wanted to experience a delivery. I wanted to hold my newborn instantly, unlike I could with Hudson.  Here's his story.

I giggle thinking about how it started. I woke up to go to the bathroom early on Thursday, October 24, 2013. When I went to crawl back into bed, I looked at the time on my phone and it was 1:00am. Instantly, right there, beside my bed... my water broke. Holy Cow! Now, with Maddox, we were told that when my water broke we had to RUSH to the hospital because since I had so much fluid, there were some risks with the cord, etc. So, I stood there, making an absolute mess, and told Kyle to wake up because my water had broken. He literally jumped out of bed (throwing off the breathing machine mask) and said, "I heard it! But I thought that Mister was peeing on the floor!" The next ten minutes were the best ever. Kyle was in such shock and half asleep, I kept having to tell him what to do. He just stood there in his underwear saying, "What do I need to do?" I instructed him to call Kody first (Kody was "on call" to come stay with Hudson in the moment I went in to labor), then call his mom to meet us at the hospital, and then call my parents. Our bags were already packed and ready, so I just had to continue to tell him what to do... I had to tell him to put clothes on! By the time we were dressed, had bags in the car, had set Hudson's clothes out, and got to the car, Kody was pulling up. We sat for a second in the car soaking in what was about to happen. It was time. We were going to end the day being parents to two boys.

Checking in to the hospital was surreal. I still couldn't believe it. They admitted us in to a room in L&D, and got everything all hooked up. I wasn't having major contractions yet, but boy they were coming soon. Every time I got "checked" they sadly informed me that I wasn't dilated or effaced or ready in any way other than that my water had broken.  I was pleased to know that my doctor was on call and that she'd be checking in often.  I made it until about 7am with bearable pain. Contractions are no fun, but in the beginning, they were manageable. Around 7, still not dilated more than about a 2, I was starting to have some pretty intense pain but knew I wasn't ready for an epidural because I wasn't ready to be stuck in the bed. I don't really remember much of a timeline after that. I know that I had terrible back labor, and spent a LOT of time on a bouncing ball. Finally, after some pretty dramatic movie-like moaning because of pain, I was ready for that magic epidural. It was fan-freaking-tastic. I rested while Kyle and our moms visited. I had multiple nurses come to "check me" only to continue with bad news of no progression. It took from 1am to about 11:30 am to only get to a 3. I was starting to doubt how the day would go. Dr. McLemore had continued to reassure me that all was going great and that I'd be able to do this. I'd birth my baby boy. I woke up around 1:15pm feeling the need to push. I looked at our mommas and said, "I'm feeling some weird pressure like I should push" to which they replied, "Don't push, Rachel, you're only 3cm, remember? Just rest babe" Nah, they were wrong. The nurses came in asking if I was feeling anything because they were watching the monitor out in the hall. Sure enough, Courtney (my fab nurse), checked me and the look on her face scared me... She was so shocked to say, "You're at a 10, I'm calling Dr. McLemore, its go time!" I wish I had a picture of Kyle's face. You'd think he saw a ghost. Our moms kissed me quick and left saying they'd see us soon. Kyle held my hand, kissed my forehead, and said, "Alright... lets do this."

Labor is tough. Pushing sucks. But I knew we could do it. I knew Maddox and I were going to meet soon and it made it so worth it. His heartrate was perfect. It took me about an hour and a half or a little more of pushing to get him to this world, but I did it. He did gloriously through labor and delivery. He never had any distress, no signs of trauma, all was well. I pushed this beautiful baby out and they handed him directly to me. And then, he was taken away.

Dr. McLemore said he was having some trouble breathing and they were going to work on him a little bit. That little bit turned in to 30 minutes.

Right there, in our delivery room, my world turned upside down. With each passing minute and with each new person that entered the room, I wrapped my mind, heart, and emotions around the severity that was unfolding before me. There was now a NICU team, Nurse Practitioner, and NICU dr in the room. There was a new OB working on me along with a LSU med student, a whole new slew of nurses, and my dr was over with Maddox. My nurses Courtney and Laura were at my bedside trying to keep me calm and updated. Kyle was to my right where he had been the entire delivery.

I felt like I was living in a Lifetime Movie. I had a room full of people. Strangers. Strangers that became part of the journey. One nurse finally said, "Are y'all praying people?" to which quickly replied "Yes!" and in that instant, the whole room started praying. It was right then that I knew how serious this was. I might actually lose this precious baby that I was just given. At this point we knew he had a knot in his cord but that that wasn't the cause because he had a great pulse in the cord. We knew he had no distress in labor. So, we could only assume (and this is still our theory) that he aspirated on something when he took his first breath. I could see one little foot during it all. It was crazy. There were nurses praying loudly, my two nurses keeping my focus, Kyle was praying/crying, and all I wanted was updates on Maddox. I went in to momma survival mode. I kept calling out to Maddox thinking that I could just will him to breathe. The NP was loud. I could hear every decision he made and every demand he had. I liked this, but it made me want more information. Finally, I called my OB by name to gain her attention, and from that moment on she gave me every update she had. She let me know each time he was breathing and when he wasn't.  What I didn't realize at the time was that each time he stopped, his heart had stopped. Three times. Three. Three times his heart stopped. Three.

The NP then took control of the chaotic room. He moved everyone away from me and told me "He's stable enough to move now. He's ventilated and his heart rate is stable. I'm going to let you kiss him and then we've got to go to the NICU." I kissed him. I kissed my grey, still, ventilated baby boy. In all honesty, I didn't know if I was kissing him for the first or the last time. Kyle got his smooch in too. And like that, they were gone. My OB, the NP and my little boy were gone. With them, went all the chaos. My nurses and Kyle remained. Kyle was crying and didn't know what to do. My nurses were assuring me that he'd be okay, they'd take good care of him, and that I did amazingly.

The next few hours were a blur. Kyle and I had some alone time to pray and gain composure. I told him that if were going to trust God through this, then that meant that were weren't going to go crazy. We were going to let the Holy Spirit wash over us and calm our fears and walk us through this. From that moment, that's what happened. We were led through the experience. Suddenly we realized we had to go get our parents. Kyle had to go get them. I told him (again) to suck it up and be brave for them. AND, to tell them that I was all cried out. I needed my parents with me, but I couldn't cry anymore. Come to find out, their story was scary. For a while, they were ushered into a small waiting room where they only knew there was a problem. They didn't know if it was me, Maddox, or both. Thankfully, before Kyle got to them, Dr. McLemore did. She filled them in so that we didn't have to. So when Kyle brought them back, they were up to speed.

My OB came down first from the NICU. She brought with her my most precious picture. It's the first I have of my newborn Maddox. She also brought some explanations, or all she could. She told me again that he was stable, there's nothing that could've gone better in terms of L&D, and that he aspirated on something probably. (all of which I am very okay with)


Maddox's first photo. He was in the NICU before being placed on the cooling blanket.

 The Nurse Practioner, Mike, came next. He let us know, again, that Maddox was stable and that I should really rest. He wanted to see us later that night after we got settled in a room. Words like "the next 24 hours are critical" were said and I just couldn't wrap my mind around it.

 

We were moved to a room on the second floor where mommas and babies rest until they go home. Not us, it was a room for me and Kyle to rest in between NICU visits for the next five days before getting moved to a hospitality room. At 11pm on the night of his birth, we went up to see our man. I can't explain what it's like seeing him the way we did. I've debated posting this picture, but I need to. Mike went over the cooling process, the trauma done to Maddox's brain after not having consisten oxygen for that long, and that the next three days he'd be sedated until we could move forward. Again, the next 12-24 hrs were critical, but that he was here and alive and stable for now.

 

the scariest image. This was when Kyle and I went to see Maddox for the first time. So many cords, wires, tubes, etc. all working to keep my baby alive. The green pad is the cooling blanket that kept his body at 91 degrees for three days to slow down the potential damage that the "insult" created. We believe this therapy saved him. This decision helped prevent much more potential damage. We talked for a long time with Mike about what the next few days would hold. It was a night I'll never forget.  

 It was the best and worst day of my life. I still don't know how we got through the next couple of days. Then the next 40 days. Maddox is a miracle. Maddox overcame a lot more than I can ever put into words. But this is the story of day 1. Day one is what started it all. Day one is the day that gave me my boy. Day one was October 24, 2013. Day 40 was December 3, 2013 when we brought him home. Every day in between is a blur. A blur of good days and bad. Good news and not so good news. But every day in between is a story of how God carried us through. From here on out... updates to follow about Maddox and what he has to prove.

The list of Thank Yous is extremely long. BUT it starts with three girls in particular. My OB, Dr. McLemore, and our two nurses, Courtney and Laura are freaking rockstars. We have a bond with them forever now whether they want it or not! We can't think of Maddox's birthday without thinking of them. Secondly, the NICU teams at Rapides and WKSouth in Shreveport were phenomenal. All of the nurses that took care of him and loved him are family now. Our Rapides girls saw us through the really hard days and laughed with me when I needed it most. They made me smuggle chocolate! (wink wink) But most importantly, they loved us through it all. We've never been more pleased with medical staff like the ones that took care of us and we are forever grateful.

Day 40. The day we took our precious home.