Tonight I yelled at my husband. There. It's out. Sure... We all yell. But tonight, I yelled and woke up the "on the mend" two year old. Today was a tough one though. I was needed constantly today. Some days I get tired of being needed.
Once the dust settled I was able to talk with Kyle. Sometimes I wonder why God creates us differently. Instincts are different and I can't be angry that he's created differently because that's all in the grand design right? Poor thing, he tries. He tries so hard and I never give enough credit. Nights are hard. We knew it'd be tough when we realized we were having kids 20 months apart but good grief!!! As the house sleeps, there's always someone crying in our house (sometimes it's just my turn). A couple nights ago with both kids crying and Kyle and I being in separate towns I found myself in the dark wondering why God doesn't just fix somebody. I don't even care who! Fix the strep throat, ANY thing on Maddox's list, one of kyles ailments, my exhaustion, etc. and then... (Thanks to Pinterest) I read this:
Well... Okay I give up. It's laid down for the umpteenth time.
As I soaked tonight (we won't mention the last time I bathed, let alone soaked in the tub in quiet) I mindlessly wandered through the Instagram and Facebook feeds. And a status update brought me to tears. A guy I went to high school with talked about rocking his baby girl and how blessed he was. Then, this verse was listed:
"I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won't enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!" Malachi 3:10 (NLT)
I'm tired. But I'm blessed. I've got a TON of support. I've got a husband who didn't yell back tonight but instead put Hudson back to bed. I've got parents and Inlaws who try to do anything they can.
Most importantly... Time and time again I'm reminded that I have two precious boys given to me. And daily, I'm reminded I can't and shouldn't do this alone. This life, their life, our life... It's laid down.
No comments:
Post a Comment